I’m having another “what the Hell is wrong with me?” night. Two nights in less than a week where I couldn’t sleep because I’m thinking too much about all the people I was there for in their times of need who just walked away. I’m not in need, really. But when the only response you get to “I’m having surgery” is “I’ll pray for you” after you spent days at the hospital with this person when they had surgery themselves, it’s disappointing. Like I’m not worth the time it takes to even send a message asking how it’s going. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I should be less supportive of friends. I’ve gone to doctors appointments with these people, entertained them when they’re down, and put my own needs aside to perform like a dancing monkey. It just hurts my feelings that I mean so little to do many.
My family, Henry, and various friends across the country and the metro area: thank you. For everything. All the time.